Sunny Day Therapy's Blog- Helping Children & Caregivers Shine, Do, and Thrive

Choosing Positive Words, Thoughts, and Images to Build Our Story

“As we grow older, the horizon begins to fade.” – Jack Johnson 

The horizon is the line where the earth’s surface appears to meet the sky.  It sometimes appears to be a distinct, definite line; yet, as we know things are far from that simple. The earth, the sun, and the moon are constantly moving.  Perspectives change based on the angles viewed. The only constant is change. 

As children, we take in labels, memorize concepts, and seek to define.  Yet, children are open to wonder and novelty.  As we grow into adults, our labels sometimes become more rigid.  This is because we are comforted by knowing; our minds want order.  We explain. We analyze, yet we are confronted by new facts which we must morph into the story of our reality.  We may start to recognize the process by which we think and see ourselves as the authors of our own stories.  Or, we may be blinded by own need for truth, caught in the intricately weaved order, and unable to question or cope with threats to our secure routine of expectations about who we are to be, how we are to act, what roles we should pursue, what we should work for, etc. It is an illusive, beautiful thrill of a story and it’s hard to see that the threads that weave it are colored by our experiences, our humanity, and our unique gifts, hopes, and fears. 

As we grow older, we may start to loosen the threads in our story and see the way the light hits our story as it interacts with other stories.  We may see that the same sky we have been looking at our entire life starts to look a bit different.  When that happens, our dreams may change.  Our priorities become more clear; for me, it feels like wisdom to have the limits that once constrained me to be lifted.  

I am reminded of a story of a researcher drawing circles on paper around ants. The ants all stayed in the circles because they perceived the circles as barriers and didn’t know they could crawl over them. For them, perception was reality. Even though they could have crawled across the drawn circles, they didn’t consider that option.  It was an assumed sort of limitation imposed only by the mind.  I feel like during our lives we build up barriers with our language; in many ways these barriers often protect us. After all, society benefits from order.  Yet, some barriers like fear and worry do more damage than good. They rob us of the beauty of us pursuing our highest potential.  We fall in line; we stay in our little hole when there is a whole world to be explored. 

What horizons have you constructed in your life?  What language do you use to hold yourself down/keep yourself in line with the status quo?  Do you keep doing things a certain way because you want to or because you believe it is your job or the only way?  Is there a little bit of wiggle room you can find in your story?  Perhaps you can give yourself a bit of kindness through time for rest, a few nice words, or a walk to catch your breath?  Perhaps “the rat race” is not your race/their story is not your story.  Your story will find you when you are ready to see it. 

I love how the word horizons is often used colloquially to describe the limits of our mind.  People say, “Broaden your horizons”.  This implies that we have control of the lens through which we view the world.  We can zoom our camera in and out; wouldn’t it be great if things were so simple as we just look at something else?  

As a person who has experienced anxiety, I know that it is often not as simple as just shifting or turning off our camera. Yet, I also know that the aggregate choices of what we choose to look at matters. Filling my mind with positive images, words, and music builds an ambience of peace; it invites my mind to spread its wings, to relinquish the language and the thought patterns which are holding me captive.  I know that even when I am caught in my most complex, confining net, there are people, tools, and strategies that can help me. There are so many ways the light bends out of a prism; I will one day find a wavelength that feels right for me. One that feels cozy, hopeful, free… not perfect… but I know there are just as many strategies and teachers as there are wavelengths.  I just need one that works and when that one grows old there will be another and another. 

Slowly, over time, I know that by building my mind up, by raising awareness of the way I think (metacognition), and by seeing the threads of my own story, I will see a different, beautiful, positive perspective.   

As Elsa would say in the movie Frozen, 

“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small

And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see

What I can do

To test the limits and break through. ” (Kirsten Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez, 2013)

What thoughts or words are holding you back from pursuing your wildest dreams? As we enter the month of love, let’s pay attention to our thoughts, trust our bodies, and intentionally write a love letter to ourselves.